Okay, if you know any of us three you’ll probably already be aware that we’ve joined forces with another blog. I doubt we’ll post anything more up on here so why not get yourself over to the new site…

• We are the Lolocaust - www.lolocaust.co.uk

I’m upgrading our old tired webserver to a new flashy thing with lots of noises and flashy lights so things here may go a little AWOL for a day or so. Plus we’re all on Burnout Paradise or reading The Lolocaust and we haven’t posted nearly enough stuff on here recently (Paul and Duncs also post on The Lolocaust too.)

Some of the things you read on the internet are just so funny, you have to post them. Yes, it’s another sex related post, but it is on the gadgety side of things. Just…

So there I was reading UK:Resistance which then sent you onto this story about “Onacups”. The guy who wrote the wasn’t going to be juvanile about this, but there are some cases where you just have to be! I mean come on, the “deep throat” cup! That’s one I’m just got to buy! Gem gets about halfway down and she starts to choke!*

There are 4 other types of cup too, but I’m going to let you read the story for yourselves. Oh, apparently, Japanese men have little shlongs. *snigger*

*This is by no means meant to be a bragging post about the size of my willy. Honest**
**But it is big though***
***Either that and Gem has a small mouth and been leading me on a bit by making me feel a bit better about the actual size of it

Or am I about to get rodgered up the shitter by o2? I dunno.

Following on from this post about my GPRS charges last week, I decided to give them a call on Monday to see how things were going on the report that they had raised on the usage. No news yet. Still takes about a week to sort out. Or so they say. So I gave them a couple more days to get on with it.

I call them this morning, and I get a miserable woman called Rosie at their end. SO I explained what I’m chasing up, and guess what? Still no news! But she did send an email to the technical chappie to give me a call and let me know where he’s up to. That was about 9:15 this morning. It’s now 10:35 and still no call from him. I have a feeling that this is going to go on for ages.

I’ll give them until tomorrow, then I’m going to call them up again. If I still don;t get anymore news from them, I’m going to cancel the direct debit I have, and then I’m sure that they’ll

A/ Give me the answers that I want
or
B/ Send me to court for non-payment of £1,019.40

I also got an email from BT the other day saying that I went 15gb over my monthly usage. But being that they’re so kind, they wont charge me on this occasion. But next time they’ll charge me 30p per gb over the norm. That’ll teach me for downloading demos, games and movies from Xbox Live!

So far, technology-wise, and a few personal bits, 2008 has been a bit shit. I’m hoping that it can only get better, but that would be tempting fate, wouldn’t it…

You may now officially stick your phone and your contract and especially, your GPRS charges up your shitter.

Lots of love

Paul Sunter

Sorry, you’ll want a story to go with this won’t you! Well here goes…

Yesterday while sitting at my desk, doing the usual worky stuff (browsing the internet) I received a text message from o2. “You have gone over your normal monthly charge by £233″. W…T…F I exclaimed in quite a load manner, as you’d imagine. Obviously a phone call to o2 had to be made.

“Well sir, it turns out that on the 30th December, you downloaded 92mb worth of data on your mobile phone”. OK. This doesn’t make sense. The last time GPRS was used was on the 20th December when we had a power cut at work, and the phone was definatly not used on the 30th December. After asking what was downloaded…”we don’t know sir. We don’t have that information to hand” Helpful. Is there any way I can see what has been downloaded on my phone from here? “No sir. I don’t think anyone here knows how to use an XDA Orbit. Best you go to your nearest o2 store and ask them”. Oh for fucks sake.

Here’s a hint. o2 Customer service are about as useful as a chocolate frying pan. Don’t bother even thinking about ringing them.
So off I trot to the o2 store in Blackburn. Luckily, they were a lot more helpful than the *insert foreign country* person that I spoke to on the phone yesterday. They were very helpful infact. Umm, too helpful possibly.

“Umm, sir, your phone has now downloaded over 350mb of data and your bill is now currently over 1,000 pounds”. If you’re under 18, I would look away now. Actually, and surprisingly, I was quite calm about the situation! It was a funny reaction when I told Gem, when she’d trotted back from browsing in Next. Now I would deffinatly look away if you’re under 18…

FUCK OFF she shouted quite loudly! It was quite an amusing moment!

It turns out that my phone has been (apparently) downloading data without my knowlege. The bloke in the store had a root through my phone to see if anything was stored. It’d have a job though considering there isn’y even enough space to store 100mb, let alone 300mb! It “may” be a fault with the phone. If so, I won’t have to pay the bill. If it isn’t the phone though, I really can’t be paying over a grand for something that I have’t done!

A report is currently being done at o2 to see exactly what’s happening, but that’s going to take around 5 days. Cue much ringing of said company and chasing up!

Updates on this subject will be forthcoming!

No, really! According to a news peice on Sky News, some bloke called David Levy has penned a book called “Love and Sex with Robots: The Evolution of Human-Robot Relationships”, were he reckons that we’ll all be doing the dirty with robots by the year 2050. Even in 2006, a chappie called Henrik Christensen thinks we’ll all be “doing” robots in the even closer future. Like 5 years!

Apparently, ugly and fat people (i.e. me) will be so lonely and depressed that even real-life prostitutes won’t even want to take their money. Either that or “ladies of the night” won’t be around any more. So the only way for them to “get it on” will be to go and grab themselves a robot. With holes. Or sticky out bits. Depending on your preferences, obviously.

Now I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that these robots ain’t going to look like that Caprica 6 Cylon from Battlestar Galactica. Yeah, that’s one robot I’d like to stick my…err…flash drive in her…umm…USB port. Or something. I mean, if you take that Honda robot that’s doing the rounds at the moment and try and make hot sticky love to it, you’re going to get chaffed. A lot…

Sorry, but it’s just one of those wierd things that you have to post about. And this is a site about tech stuff…

I think I may have just gone overboard!

Whilst taking a saunter through xbox.com, as I sometimes do, I happened upon a banner claiming ‘Xbox All Nighter’ with a picture of Call of Duty 4 as it’s background. Well hello!

Clicking the banner took me to a page proudly claiming that Call of Duty 4 was the chosen title for an ‘All Nighter’.  Ok, so these things aren’t really organised by M$, more the idea is put out and the community is left to decide whether they want to go for it or not.  Being a massive fan of CoD online, I though I’d have a pop.

At least the intention was there, as the Xbox Live service was not.  I can only assume that a ton of people saw the same banner and did the same as me.  I’d load up the game and as soon as I reached the main menu, a notification would pop up telling I’d been signed out of Live!?

Check the router?  It’s fine. Check the wireless bridge running from the 360? No problem. Is my CoD disc ok? Not a mark in sight.

Back to the dashboard, and it’s signs in within a few seconds.  Back to the game, it signs out automatically, so I try to sign in from the main menu. Still nothing.  Yet any other game I try is fine.

Annoying does not quite cover it, but it probably turned out to be a good thing otherwise I would have been on for a fair few hours, and it was already 10.30pm at that point.

Anybody else get the same problem?