Okay, if you know any of us three you’ll probably already be aware that we’ve joined forces with another blog. I doubt we’ll post anything more up on here so why not get yourself over to the new site…

• We are the Lolocaust - www.lolocaust.co.uk

I’m upgrading our old tired webserver to a new flashy thing with lots of noises and flashy lights so things here may go a little AWOL for a day or so. Plus we’re all on Burnout Paradise or reading The Lolocaust and we haven’t posted nearly enough stuff on here recently (Paul and Duncs also post on The Lolocaust too.)

I love Burnout. I really do! I love the offline challenges. I love the showtime, I love the Burning Routes, and finding the smashes and the billboards. I don;t like the stunt challenges though. I really suck at them. They suck. Like a really sucky thing…

I also love the online aspect of the game too. The challenges, the races, aand the zany anticd that we get up to. I especially love some of the images the camera captures when you take someone down. It’s a really good job that we haven’t met any kids online yet (I think) because some of the pictures that I receive from some people, and especially one person (no, I’m not going to mention any names), who has a bit of a flabby arse (OK, it’s Bouncybhall!) and a penchant for getting naked whilst on Live, are just…well…fucking awsome!

I’m just two minds whether or not to post some of these pictures from the Xbox!

A regular update perhaps?

Thoughts please…

Ok, first off, it’s been a good two or three weeks since any of us last posted.  Sorry about that guys, it’s just a case of us all being ridiculously busy with various things and not getting time for much else.

One thing I have been getting some time in on is Burnout Paradise which surprisingly for me, is keeping my interest much more than I thought it would. However, there is one problem.

Most of you have heard about, or at least experienced the search for the Orbs in Crackdown, right?  If you have the game, you’ll also remember the pain of looking for those last few which just didn’t seem to be anywhere.  Well that same pain is back, but this time in the form of Billboards, Super Jumps and Gates.

Right now I’ve got about 105 out of 120 Billborads, 42 out of 50 Jumps, and 389 of 400 Gates.  The first two won’t be so bad to find, but these gates are getting to be a real pain in the posterior.  In between unlocking the cars, completing the challenges, racing, and generally mucking about with Paul online, I’m constantly on the lookout for these Gates.

For those not aware, each gate is marked by chainlink fence with bright yellow markers and flashing lights.  Doesn’t sound hard to spot does it, but trying to find them whilst doing excess speed down the wrong side of a road is.  Driving slowly in Burnout just feels wrong as anyone who’s played any game from the series will know; sure it would make the job easier but it’s just no fun.  I can drive slowly in real life for god sake (kinda have to, damn speeding tickets!) so I’m not going to piddle about in a game.

Last night I even considered looking for a map online of where they all were.  Apart from the basic wrong-ness of doing so, I suddenly remembered the people I used to deal with whilst presenting Game Guru, and realised just what depths I would be sinking to.

Oh, and one last quick note, an apology to ‘oss’ who dropped a few comments on Paul’s O2 posts.  We all missed out on your comments, but they are approved now and showing.  Nothing personal, jut none of us had logged into the admin panel until I did this morning.  Hopefully you’ve got your charges sorted out too by now, but let us know what happened.  Be interesting to see what steps O2 take for you as well!

I popped into my local GAME store this weekend, as you do, and found Assassins Creed at a knock down price of just £24.99. I knew Duncs had recently had a stab at it and hadn’t rated it that much. I’d played a demo and again was a bit ‘meh!’ about it but I thought, what the hell, £25 is only going to get me just over half way to Burnout Paradise.

True to form and reviews I’ve played it for a couple of hours and at the moment I think it’s one of the best games I’ve seen for a while. It certainly ranks up high amongst CoD4, Bioshock, Gears of War and a couple of others I can’t be bothered to think of right now. Whether or not I think the same after a few more hours remains to be seen. Maybe I’m slightly biased as I have paid less than full price for it. Had I paid the full £40 I might have felt differently.

What do you all think of the game? Post away.

Some of the things you read on the internet are just so funny, you have to post them. Yes, it’s another sex related post, but it is on the gadgety side of things. Just…

So there I was reading UK:Resistance which then sent you onto this story about “Onacups”. The guy who wrote the wasn’t going to be juvanile about this, but there are some cases where you just have to be! I mean come on, the “deep throat” cup! That’s one I’m just got to buy! Gem gets about halfway down and she starts to choke!*

There are 4 other types of cup too, but I’m going to let you read the story for yourselves. Oh, apparently, Japanese men have little shlongs. *snigger*

*This is by no means meant to be a bragging post about the size of my willy. Honest**
**But it is big though***
***Either that and Gem has a small mouth and been leading me on a bit by making me feel a bit better about the actual size of it

I really hope not but I fear the worst may be happening!!

Fifa Street has personaly always been a bit of a chavvy excuse for a football game, with it’s flamboyant arcade-y style play, ott skills etc. the whole package symbolised the whole vibe that EA have been, and still are going for.  That ‘yoof-culture’ crap that tends to be spouted over by the Daily Mail when they have something to bitch about being wrong with civilisation.

As such, I’ve generally dismissed the previous two games as just being a cheap footy game, even after trying both of them out.

A few days ago, a demo of Fifa Street 3 appeared on the Marketplace.  Being a bit of a demo whore (well come on, it’s about an hours play time for free!) I grabbed a copy of it.  Once I got past trying to work out why the players looked like over-sized wobble head dolls, really feckin’ weird, I settled into my first game.

And got suitably hammered by the AI opposition.  No great surprise there, but then I found myself playing it again. A defeat again, but by a smaller margin. A third play through brings victory by two goals, and a better understanding of just how you’re supposed to play it.

Entertainment over I thought, but no, there I was pressing Start again.  Oh crap, I’m enjoying it!

I never thought I would do this, but I’m going to recommend that if you’re reading this and have a means to try out the game, go do it.  Imagine Mario Strikers, without the lava, and superkicks, and, well, Mario and company, in a playground or disused basketball court.  Then add in some of the msot well known names in football at the moment, and there you go.

Whilst I’m on recommendations, go try out Boogie Bunnies on Xbox Live Arcade too.  Stupidly similar puzzle concept, but very addictive play, and it has two player co-op and versus over Live.  Just look past the ridiculously cute rabbit-type things that’ll make your eyes bleed with their…cuteness.